Is Me Being Single the Problem?

Amy Dinwiddie

I am a single woman in her late thirties. I have become accustomed to family and friends questioning my singleness. Am I seeing anyone? Do I want to be seeing anyone? Do I not desire marriage and family? Do I not fear an approaching loneliness as I grow older?

Not until recently, however had I been confronted with this notion that my singleness (and the many other single Christians in the church today) is a major contributing factor to the downfall of our churches, and even our nation. Nor had I been accused of committing the sin of sloth by not finding a spouse already.

When I stumbled across the website for “UnMarried: the Rise of Singleness,” a faith-based documentary currently in production, I honestly thought I had discovered a tiny fragment of dogmatic men who looked in disdain upon anyone who did not follow in their same path of early marriage and a “quiver full” of children. I was shocked, however, that as I began to research this ideology that they are far from a tiny fragment. As the traditional family unit is continually being torn apart in society and politics, fingers are beginning to point towards Christian singles as a major cause in the downfall of the family.

God created marriage and ordained it for his glory. He created us with a desire for fellowship and relationship. If marriage is a desire God has given you, don’t wait for God to miraculously drop your future spouse in front of you. Seek the wisdom of godly friends (single and married), pray for guidance and wisdom and with his leading, actively seek the spouse God has for you. But beware of becoming so focused on the search that you forget wherein your ultimate fulfillment lies. Jesus is enough. If you are not content without a spouse, you will not be content with a spouse.

On the other hand, perhaps marriage is NOT what God has for you, or perhaps not now. While we don’t know every move God has for us, he does not leave us scrambling in the dark searching for our next step. We have the promise of Isaiah 42:16 (among many others), which states “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” I want to be on the path God has laid out for me. If I am in His Word, in constant communication with Him, and walking according to His leading, I will end up where He wants me to be (which may include seeking and finding a spouse, or may not). Until God has prompted me in that direction, however, I will continue to be single and continue to believe I am in His will to be so.

 

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