The question of why a person is STILL single starts with all the wrong questions and answers.
Why am I all alone? – “You’re not good enough”
Why have I not purchased a home yet? – “You need a house to be settled”
Why is dating so hard? – “Love just happens”
Why can’t I make friends? – “Everyone else is loved”
Why have I never been on a date? – “Your don’t put yourself out there”
Why am I not happy? – “You need a spouse”
Why can’t I be happy? – “You don’t have kids”
Why won’t I be happy? – “You aren’t doing enough”
Why are others happy? – “They have it all”
These are questions singles ask themselves and answer. The world around us has expectations of what it means to be happy, assume singles are not, and then speculates on the why they are still single. This happens in TV shows, expectations of dating and relationships in college, and the portrayal of boldness in solidarity, yet observes the emptiness of a dinner table set for one. The world will always set up measures of success and failure based on opinions and social norms rather than a solid foundation of truth.
When truth is relative, then there is no absolute truth. When there is no truth, then the definition or completeness is set by advertising campaigns and media.
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.
- Colossians 2:6-10 (NKJV)
But, questions started in the wrong context will produce the wrong answers. As followers of Christ, we walk with Christ. We are to be thankful and on guard against the philosophies of the world that don’t line up with the will of God. The totality of Scripture demonstrates the value of human life, not the stages of human life. The number of kids, house, spouse, or financial stability never indicate the way in which God used His people according to His will.
God uses everyone who seeks Him and is COMPLETE IN CHRIST.
So what is the answer to “why am I single” afterall? Your worth is not dependent on the value of an earthly relationship status, but based solely on your relationship with God. 1 John 4 reminds us that God loved us before we loved Him, and as His followers we ought to love others in the same way.
Stop letting the world answer questions to your life. Then you’ll be living for Him and not the world. Answering the questions above look different in the light of honoring His glory.
Why am I all alone? – “You are never alone in Christ”
Why have I not purchased a home yet? – “This is only your temporary home”
Why is dating so hard? – “Let God direct your path, not eharmony”
Why can’t I make friends? – “You were made to live in Biblical community”
Why have I never been on a date? – “Dating is not in the Bible, mic drop :::here:::”
Why am I not happy? – “You were never promised happy, just eternity”
Why can’t I be happy? – “Your happiness is dependent on your perspective”
Why won’t I be happy? – “You place value on the wrong relationships, God first”
Why are others happy? – “A face is not the heart, only God knows the heart”