Be a Friend Worth Having: Why Christian Singles Need Friendship Rooted in Following Jesus

Table for One Ministries • June 22, 2026

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Why Churches Are Asking This Question

If a single adult asks how to deal with loneliness as a Christian, the answer is not first to find a date. It is to follow Jesus more deeply and to become a friend worth having. That may sound simple, but it cuts against the way many people think. We live in a culture that assumes loneliness is solved by romance, attention, or a change in relationship status. Scripture offers something deeper. It points us to Christ, to His church, and to the kind of friendship that carries people to Jesus.

That matters because loneliness is not a fringe issue. America is increasingly living with more people alone, marrying later, and spending less time in deep relationships. In 2025, the United States had 39.7 million one person households, which accounted for 29 percent of all households. The median age at first marriage also rose to 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women. At the same time, the U.S. Surgeon General reported that only 39 percent of adults say they feel very connected to others, about half of U.S. adults report loneliness, and time spent with friends in person dropped from 30 hours a month in 2003 to 10 hours a month in 2020. For young adults ages 15 to 24, that decline was nearly 70 percent.

That means the church cannot talk about single adults only in terms of dating, marriage, or family ministry. The church has to talk about friendship. It has to recover the kind of community where people are noticed, named, known, and carried to Jesus. It does not present friendship as a side issue. It treats friendship as discipleship in motion. Friends do not merely ask how someone is doing. They act. They move toward people. They carry burdens. They help others get to Jesus.

Following Jesus Is the First Relationship

This is where the conversation has to begin. For a Christian single adult, the priority is not first to find the right person. The priority is to follow the right Savior. That is not a dismissive answer. It is the most honest one. If Christ is not the center, then every other relationship will be asked to carry more weight than it was ever meant to hold.

Your singles discipleship work says it plainly. Being complete in Christ means your relationship with Christ becomes the groundwork for all other relationships. It is not one piece of life. It is the foundation of life. That is true for married adults and single adults alike, but singles often feel the pressure of this question more immediately because the church can unintentionally make marriage sound like maturity. Your work pushes back on that. Christ calls people first to follow Him. Then every other relationship gets ordered beneath that call.

That is why loneliness cannot be answered only with busyness or social options. Some single adults do not need a larger calendar. They need a clearer priority. A crowded social life can still be spiritually empty. A dating relationship can still leave a person profoundly lonely. Following Jesus first does not erase the ache for connection, but it does rescue us from asking human relationships to do what only Christ can do.

This is one reason your recent Table for One content is so strong. It frames friendship not as a replacement for Jesus, but as a means of carrying one another to Him. A friend worth having does not try to be the savior. A friend worth having helps people get to the Savior.

Paul Valued Singleness More Than Many Churches Do

Many singles have heard marriage honored in church, and it should be. Marriage is a gift from God. But too many have rarely heard singleness honored with the same seriousness. Paul would not have been comfortable with that imbalance.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul speaks of singleness with clarity and dignity. He does not treat it as a problem to solve. He treats it as a calling that can create unusual freedom for undivided devotion to the Lord. He values marriage, but he also values singleness. He does not present one as spiritually superior and the other as spiritually deficient. He calls believers to faithfulness where God has them.

Your earlier project materials make this point well. They note that Paul, likely a widower, valued singleness more than any other biblical writer and held marriage and singleness in meaningful tension. They also press the point many churches still need to hear: if Jesus could accomplish all the Father planned for Him as a single man, then marriage cannot be the measure of usefulness or spiritual maturity.

That matters pastorally. A single adult does not need the church to say, “Your real life starts later.” A single adult needs the church to say, “Your obedience matters now. Your holiness matters now. Your calling matters now. Your friendships matter now.” Paul’s teaching gives the church language for that kind of dignity.

Be a Friend Worth Having

This is where the article turns from theology to practice. Loneliness is real. The church should not minimize it. Jesus understands rejection, grief, abandonment, and sorrow. Your own teaching material says that plainly by pointing to the suffering of Christ and the loneliness He knew. But the call of discipleship is not only to ask, “Why am I lonely?” It is also to ask, “Am I becoming the kind of friend who helps other lonely people?”

That is the sharp edge of this message, and it is needed. Some singles are lonely because of painful circumstances beyond their control. Others are lonely because they are waiting to be pursued while rarely pursuing anyone else. That does not mean loneliness is always our fault. It does mean Christian maturity asks a harder question than self pity usually does. Instead of beginning with blame, it begins with responsibility. Your uploaded draft pushes in exactly that direction by asking whether singles sometimes blame being single, the church, introversion, or personality without first asking what they themselves can do about their loneliness.

To be a friend worth having means you stop waiting for perfect conditions. You send the text. You invite someone to lunch. You ask a real question. You pray for people by name. You make room in your week for others. You follow up after church. You remember the hard date. You carry people to Jesus in ways that are practical, not performative.

That is what Mark 2 shows us. Those friends did not stand at a distance and admire Jesus. They did not offer vague support. They carried a man who could not get there alone. They got creative when the crowd was thick. They were inconveniently faithful. That is Christian friendship. And in a lonely culture, it is one of the strongest witnesses the church can offer. Your own article on biblical friendship makes that argument well by calling friendship one of the church’s most powerful discipleship tools.

The Church Must Teach Friendship, Not Just Host Events

Churches often want singles ministry ideas, but what many churches really need is a friendship theology. A room full of activities is not the same thing as belonging. A church can host events all year and still fail to teach people how to love one another well.

That is especially urgent right now. The Surgeon General’s advisory does not just describe a loneliness problem. It describes a social connection problem. Americans are spending more time alone and less time with friends. If that is true in the culture, then the church must become more intentional, not less. Single adults need more than one more mixer. They need spiritual family. They need older believers who invest in them. They need peers who show up. They need leaders who see them as central to the body, not peripheral to it.

Your work consistently says single adults are not a side demographic. They are a large part of the mission field, and churches will not reach their communities if they do not reach singles. That is not just a demographic argument. It is a discipleship argument. If single adults are increasingly common in American life, then biblical friendship among single adults is not a niche topic. It is mainstream ministry.

A healthy church teaches singles that following Jesus is first, friendship is essential, and marriage is not the finish line. It teaches that being single does not mean being sidelined. It teaches that Paul valued singleness, Jesus dignified singleness, and the church should stop treating single adults like they are waiting in the lobby of real life.

Final Thoughts

The deepest answer to loneliness is not romance. It is Christ. But one of the clearest ways Christ ministers His grace is through faithful friendship in the body of Christ. That is why this message matters so much. To be a friend worth having is not just good social advice. It is a form of discipleship.

Singles do not need a church that pities them. They need a church that equips them. They need a church that values their calling, teaches them to follow Jesus first, and invites them into friendships strong enough to carry people to Christ. Paul would have understood that. Jesus embodied it. And the church needs to recover it.

FAQ

What does “be a friend worth having” mean for Christian singles?

It means becoming the kind of person who moves toward others with Christ centered love, consistency, honesty, and action. It is not mainly about being interesting. It is about being faithful.

What does Paul say about singleness?

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul presents singleness as a good gift and a meaningful calling. He values marriage, but he also teaches that singleness can provide unusual freedom for devotion to the Lord.

How can a Christian single deal with loneliness?

A Christian single should begin by following Jesus deeply, building intentional friendship, and resisting the lie that marriage is the only answer to loneliness. Loneliness is real, but it should push us toward Christ and community, not just toward romantic urgency.

Why is friendship so important for single adults?

For many single adults, friendship becomes the primary everyday context for encouragement, accountability, service, and belonging. Friendship is often where discipleship becomes visible and personal.

Why should churches teach biblical friendship to singles?

Because loneliness is widespread, singleness is common, and discipleship happens through real relationships. Churches that teach friendship well will serve single adults more faithfully and reflect the family of God more clearly.