WANTED: Tall, blond, skinny, blue eyes, from the south with a college degree…

Singles, in Christian dating, we all have “types” when it comes to dating. From even a young age, everyone has an ideal person they think they should date. At a young age, the toy market pushes the “ideal” image of the opposite gender to children. By the time we reach a dating age, we gravitate towards someone without even realizing we have developed a vision of the person we want to date.

But where is God in all of this Christian dating journey?

Yes, attraction is important but that attribute alone should not limit what God has in store for our lives. It’s okay to be attracted to a person and experience the desire to be with them physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but if we are guilty of focusing on the first in this list and never consider if the other two attractions align with God’s will, we will miss God’s plan.

The issue we have with online dating, besides the profits companies make from singles looking to date, is the focus on physical attraction more than anything else. In the early 2000’s, a website called Hot or Not existed with only photos of people and everyone voted on whether the individuals were hot or not. For readers a bit younger, this was the precursor to the app Tender that did the same thing using a Facebook profile picture. Physical attraction is what society makes a priority on whether to date someone or not.

But in Christian dating, God does not prioritize physical attraction alone.

Yes, God wants us to be attracted to one another, but more importantly He wants us to be “equally yoked” with one another.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?What accord has Christ with Evil? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

Our type needs to be God’s type–who He wants for us.

As Believers that means dating other Believers. This is one reason singles groups are a good thing in a healthy church. They give singles a place to connect with other Believers. Although it is not why they exist, it is one benefit.

Singles, look for attraction in others when dating that goes beyond physical attraction. Dig into the emotional and spiritual connection you have. Dating allows a Believer to learn if someone is equally yoked with you in all ways and not just one.

Let your “type” be honoring to God and deeper than a list of physical features, accomplishments, or achievements in one’s life.