How do I connect singles to my church?
Part 2: Connecting Singles
If you are joining us for the first time, please check out our first post on “ Who are singles ” to define who singles are and how to see them in your community. Connecting people to a group is hard! I once had the privilege of leading a group training in South Georgia. When I asked the group why it was hard to reach people, a sweet Southerner replied, “Well, people are messy!” After a huge smile and a room full of laughter, I realized she was right, and the Apostle Paul knew it.
Connect to people, not programs
As Paul traveled and reached people for the Lord, he shared his mindset for engaging people in 1 Corinthians 9. He was willing to adapt in significant ways to “ become all things to all people, so that I may by every possible means save some.” Programs can have a purpose, but they may need modification to receive a new input to achieve the desired output. The world has changed, but have our groups noticed?
Sunday School still works. Home groups still work. Community groups still work. Life groups still work. Care groups still work. Groups that meet in the church still work. Groups that meet at home still work. The name or location of the program/strategy is not the issue. The challenge is that we sometimes build programs, and people change. Programs are created with input and output in their DNA. “Reach X person to have them move to their next X step.” Will we include single adults in our group “input” to connect singles to the body of Christ?
Singles value community, and they are lonely.
We are living in the loneliest generation ever seen in America. “We live in the most technologically connected age in the history of civilization, yet rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s.” – Dr. Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General. Community is the highest value for singles; we already do it through groups! God has already created, to no shock, the best way for us to reach this current generation, including single adults: GROUPS.
As a group leader, you are faithfully connecting often with people and reaching them. Most groups have a commonality of why they gather and connect. That could be age, life stage, area of town, a common passion, gender, or marital status. Groups can come in many ways, but as leaders, we know we hit what we aim for. Will you aim for singles to be part of your group or help start a new group that will?
Connecting to singles as people
Singles have unique life stages but are not from a different world. “People are messy!” So here are a few ways to connect to singles in your life and your group.
#1 Marriage isn’t the finish line
- Singles may be friendly in their responses, but generally, talking about their singleness ends in a conversation about what they don’t have or should have rather than where they are. Seeing a person as single is caring. Helping them be complete in Christ and nothing else is loving.
#2 Build authentic relationships
- This is not unique to single adults but is worth mentioning as a vital part of connecting. Singles want to be noticed, named, and known. They desire intentional connections for their interests, passions, and challenges. Just one genuine relationship that reaches the level of being known can multiply into a culture of reaching single adults.
#3 Be a friend worth having
- Be invested in a singles’ life and take action. If your current group isn’t the right fit for your single adults, lead a new group for singles or help your church be single-friendly to reach single adults in their groups’ strategy.
Connecting singles to a group only takes a bit of program modification and passion to see singles in your community connect.
