4 Steps to Become a Church That Welcomes Young Adults

Table for One Ministries • January 30, 2026
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The church exists today because it reached young adults in the past. Be encouraged that you and your church can reach and engage young adults.

Sunday morning! The sun is out, the church doors are unlocked, the AC is on (and working!), and the fellowship hall smells of homemade breakfast. A week has come and gone, and now it’s time to worship and fellowship with the church family.


Halfway through the sermon, you look around the room and notice the same friendly faces but a missing young adult presence. Where are they? How do you get young adults into your church? Do young adults want to attend your church?


The elusive group of “young adults” our churches are trying to reach already exists in our communities. It’s not the tempo of the worship songs, the paint color of the building, or even an old logo that keeps them from attending. We don’t see young adults or understand young adults’ needs and connect with them. Here are four steps to help your church become welcoming for young adults.


1. Define young adults

The first issue with defining young adults is that “young” is relative. Young is not age; it’s a mindset. Using it as a term to reach an age group quickly becomes problematic. While the generally accepted use of the term “young adult” is considered late teens and 20s, a person in that group rarely identifies as young. Only those outside of the group identify them as such.

The term “young adults” is hardly used on search engines, as people don’t type it in to find people like themselves. They use age and life stage words like married or single to self-identify and find community. Rather than define a people group, ask people questions about how they identify themselves so you can better shape language to connect with them.

Use specific, not general, language if you’re trying to define a life stage to communicate within your church and community. If you need to identify young adults, use married, single, gender, and age, not “young adult.”


2. See young adults

Data gets a seat at the table to see young adults. We’ll miss seeing people if we base identifying people on our personal bias. This is true of young adults. Here are a few categories and information to help us see young adults.

Collegiate/emerging adults

Typically, we associate college age with 18-22-year-olds. However, the average age for a college student is now 26 years old. So, when you say college student, depending on the schools near you, they’re not “college-aged.”

Single, never married

Singles now outnumber married adults in America at 53% of the total population. Three in 5 (61%) adults 18-34 are single, and the average age for marriage is 30 for men and 29 for women. This has increased yearly for the past 25 years, with a major increase since 2007. So, reaching young adults in your community means remembering they’re more single than you may think.

Divorced

Nearly 45% of first-time marriages end in divorce, and the average age for a first-time divorce is 29. If we’re going to reach young adults in our community, we need to provide resources to help save marriages and help those healing from divorces.

Single parents

Nearly 1 in 4 children in the U.S. live with a single parent. Over 40% of all families are single-parent households, with 80% of those being single mothers. Our children, student, and adult ministries must consider how to reach and engage single parents in their efforts to reach young adults.


Now equipped with national averages of young adults, take a moment to research your local community. As you define young adults near your church, remember to think of people, not programs. Simply starting a ministry with a name doesn’t mean you’ll attract young adults. Focus on providing for and meeting needs to bring the gospel message to young adults near your church. You may find they’re more single than you expected and your church can be a place where they find community.


“Simply starting a ministry with a name doesn’t mean you’ll attract young adults. Focus on providing for and meeting needs to bring the gospel message to young adults near your church.” — @PJ_Dunn


3. Believe in the local church

Your church can reach young adults. God knew what He was doing when He established the local church to build community and make disciples. Our mandate is to make disciples, and your church can do that with young adults.


Some reading this article have seen this happen through generations of community presence. Established churches of 50+ years exist because the next generation was reached. To continue living out the missional mandate in our local churches, we need to see who young adults are and what needs they have that we can meet in our churches.


Young adults are lonely

The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, points out in his 2023 report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” the true scope of loneliness in America. This report defines loneliness as a feeling of isolation, irrespective of social contact. Here are some interesting findings from this report.

  • Nearly 50% of all adults are considered lonely.
  • People lacking social connection increase premature death by nearly 60%.
  • Loneliness in a person’s life is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Nearly 1 in 3 young adults report feeling lonely frequently or most of the time.


According to Vivek, while we live in the most connected generation ever, loneliness rates have doubled since the 1980s. This points out a longer-term issue, not one that emerged since the COVID-19 pandemic. To reach young adults in our community, our churches must first acknowledge their current reality and connect them to an unchanging biblical mandate of community in the local church.


“To continue living out the missional mandate in our local churches, we need to see who young adults are and what needs they have that we can meet in our churches.” — @PJ_Dunn


You are the plan

Yes, you and your church. We are called to go and make disciples. Paul also reminds us in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 that we must be all things to all people so that some may accept the gospel. Your church’s ministry, big event, or program are part of making disciples, but they don’t make disciples; Jesus does.


The process of being a disciple who makes disciples happens in biblical community, such as a small group or Sunday School. However, our churches must be able to bring people into these disciple-making pathways. The same U.S. Surgeon’s report speaks to religious involvement.

  • In 1999, 70% of Americans reported that they belonged to a church, synagogue, or mosque. Now, less than half of Americans report religious participation.
  • Young adults’ participation in traditional community structures such as churches has decreased, elevating feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  • Biblical communities are cited as helping to address heart disease, dementia, depression, and mental health.
  • Reading the Bible four or more times a week decreases loneliness by 30%.


The U.S. Surgeon’s loneliness epidemic report points to the local church and other faith communities as the solution to the loneliness crisis. The U.S. government wants us to help young adults in our communities. How will we respond to this request? Connecting people to God’s Word and community is the solution our community needs and we already provide through the local church.


4. Be authentic

Authenticity is the currency of young adults. More than 2 in 5 (45%) young people feel as if no one understands them. To reach them in our churches, we need to help them be noticed, named, and known just as Christ has done for us. When we clarify our mission, vision, and values as the body of Christ, we can share that with young adults.


You don’t need to be the church down the street; there are plenty of lost people in your community for everyone. You’ll connect with young adults when you are uniquely who God called you to be and the church has clarified its vision.


“You don’t need to be the church down the street; there are plenty of lost people in your community for everyone.” — @PJ_Dunn


Being authentic means being genuine, the real thing, 100% unique. Your church needs to be excellent in all it does for the Lord, and that will demonstrate authenticity. For your church to reach young adults, it must involve them in leadership, missions, and discipleship. The church exists today because it reached young adults in the past. Be encouraged that you and your church can reach and engage young adults.


This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2024/07/11/4-steps-to-become-a-church-that-welcomes-young-adults/


Why Welcoming Young Adults Is a Strategic Priority for Churches

Becoming a church that welcomes young adults is not optional. It is essential for long term church health and mission impact.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many are navigating career decisions, identity formation, and spiritual questions without strong family structures or consistent church community. Churches that intentionally build belonging and discipleship pathways for young adults are investing in the future of the church.
Source:
https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html


At the same time, Pew Research Center continues to report generational shifts in religious affiliation. Younger adults are less likely to identify with organized religion than previous generations, yet many still express spiritual curiosity. The challenge is not always belief. Often, it is connection.
Source:
https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/


A church that welcomes young adults does more than host events. It builds intentional relationships. It integrates young adults into the full life of the church. It creates clear discipleship pathways instead of isolated programming.

This is especially important in light of current single adult trends. Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that young adult ministry is not a niche strategy. It is central to reaching a growing life stage demographic.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america


Welcoming young adults also requires clarity. Before developing strategy, churches should consider how they are defining young adults in church ministry. Clear definitions shape clearer pathways.
https://www.tfoministries.org/who-is-a-young-adult-church


Ultimately, churches that cultivate authentic community and intentional discipleship will not only attract young adults. They will develop disciple makers who influence generations to come. The goal is not attendance growth alone. The goal is spiritual formation that lasts.


Frequently Asked Questions About Welcoming Young Adults

Why do churches struggle to reach young adults?

Many churches rely on program driven approaches rather than relationship centered discipleship. Young adults are often seeking authentic community and meaningful belonging.

What makes a church welcoming to young adults?

A welcoming church integrates young adults into leadership, discipleship pathways, and multigenerational community rather than isolating them into siloed programming.

How can pastors begin reaching young adults?

Start by building intentional relationships, clarifying next steps for connection, and ensuring young adults are noticed, discipled, and trusted within the church body.

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Why the five love languages matter for singles A single adult may be building a career, raising children, caring for a parent, grieving a spouse, or enjoying a meaningful life without plans to marry. Each of those circumstances includes relationships that deserve attention. Someone who has never married does not need to wait for a wedding to learn how to encourage a friend or receive help. Someone rebuilding life after divorce still has opportunities to develop trust and participate fully in Christian community. The U.S. Census Bureau’s 2025 estimates put the median age at first marriage at 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women. Churches should take these years of adult life seriously, while remembering that singleness also includes people in later decades and people who have been married before. Our teaching about relationships needs room for the lives people are actually living. Friendship, hospitality, service, and spiritual growth matter throughout those lives, whatever the future holds. Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition applies the framework beyond marriage, including relationships with friends and family. That broader application is helpful because a single adult’s relationships have value in the present. A friendship does not need to become romantic to be meaningful. Learning to understand another person can become part of how we honor that person and take responsibility for our life together. A Christian perspective on love languages For Christians, love begins with God’s character and His gracious action toward us. First John 4:19 (ESV) says, “We love because he first loved us.” In the surrounding passage, John connects God’s love revealed through His Son with our responsibility to love one another. We respond to the love we have received in Christ by learning to care for real people, including people whose needs and preferences differ from ours. Jesus lived His earthly life unmarried, fully obedient to the Father and without any deficiency in His humanity. Marriage is a good gift, but it cannot serve as the church’s measure of spiritual maturity or usefulness. In Colossians 2:9–10 , Paul grounds the believer’s fullness in Christ, not in a relationship status. Being complete in Christ gives us a secure foundation for relationships while leaving room to acknowledge our need for friendship, encouragement, and community. We should also be careful about what we ask love languages to accomplish. A 2024 review by Emily Impett, Haeyoung Gideon Park, and Amy Muise found limited scientific support for the framework’s central claims, including the idea that matching a partner’s preferred language reliably produces greater relationship satisfaction. That research concerns romantic relationships; it does not establish an outcome for friendships or church ministry. I would use the categories to begin thoughtful conversations, while allowing Scripture to guide our understanding of love and paying attention to the whole person. All five love languages with examples for singles The official explanation of the five love languages identifies five familiar ways people communicate affection and care. The examples below apply those categories to everyday single adult life. As you read, consider both what you appreciate receiving and what someone close to you may need. You may recognize yourself in several categories, and another person may value a different response than the one you naturally offer. Words of affirmation Words of affirmation communicate care through sincere encouragement, appreciation, and acknowledgment. For single adults, that might mean a friend recognizing a difficult decision, a parent expressing gratitude, or a church leader naming someone’s faithful contribution. Specific words help us understand what another person has noticed. Telling a single parent that you saw their patience during a difficult evening communicates more than a general compliment offered in passing. Christian encouragement should be truthful and attentive to the person’s circumstances. Ephesians 4:29 directs believers toward speech that builds others up according to the need of the moment. A divorced friend may appreciate recognition of their steady obedience without another prediction about finding someone better. A never-married adult may need to hear that their wisdom and service already strengthen the church, without every compliment turning into a comment about their eligibility for marriage. If words of affirmation matter to you, explain that kindly to trusted people. You can tell a friend that their specific encouragement stayed with you during a difficult week. Then practice offering the same attentiveness to someone else. This week, name one quality you have actually observed and explain how it has encouraged you. Quality time Quality time communicates care through focused attention and shared presence. For singles, it can look like an unhurried conversation after church, a regular walk, or a meal where phones stay put away. The activity creates room to know one another more deeply. Listening to what someone says, remembering it, and returning to the conversation later can help a friendship grow beyond exchanging updates. Availability will look different across relationships and seasons. A single parent may have a short window between responsibilities, while an older adult may prefer a daytime visit to an evening gathering. Ask what is realistic and make a plan both people can keep. Friendship becomes more dependable when we respect one another’s work, rest, family responsibilities, and need for personal space. If you appreciate quality time, a clear invitation gives another person something concrete to consider. Suggest lunch next Sunday or a phone call during a mutually convenient time. Allow room for a different suggestion or a gracious decline. Consistent attention can grow through ordinary routines without making constant access to another person the measure of their love. Receiving gifts Receiving gifts describes the significance of a thoughtful, tangible expression of care. The value may come from what the gift communicates about being remembered. A favorite snack, a book connected to a recent conversation, or a small item celebrating an accomplishment can carry that meaning. A useful question is whether the gift reflects something you know about the person receiving it. Single adults have milestones worth celebrating throughout their lives. 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A ride when a car is being repaired, help carrying furniture, or a meal during a demanding week can make a meaningful difference. Single adults may be managing many responsibilities without another adult in the home, though their circumstances vary widely. Asking before acting helps us offer assistance that is useful and welcome. For a single parent, practical support might involve an agreed grocery pickup or help from a trusted caregiver. For someone grieving a spouse, it might mean assistance with a household task their spouse once handled. Offer a specific possibility, then listen to the response. That approach gives the person room to accept, suggest something different, or decline without embarrassment. In Galatians 6:2 , Paul calls believers to help carry one another’s burdens as an expression of life under Christ. Receiving appropriate help can therefore be part of participating in the body of Christ. You do not have to repay every kindness immediately to remain someone’s equal. As circumstances allow, you can also bring your own gifts and abilities to the needs of others. Physical touch Physical touch refers to appropriate, welcomed contact that can communicate affection or support. For singles, this might include a hug from a trusted friend, holding a family member’s hand during grief, or a celebratory high-five. Some people find these expressions meaningful, while others prefer more personal space. The relationship, setting, and other person’s comfort all matter. Ask before initiating touch when you are unsure, and accept the answer without pressure. A person’s history, culture, preferences, or present circumstances may influence what feels welcome. Church members should have the freedom to choose a handshake, a verbal greeting, or no physical contact. Respecting that choice is itself an expression of care. A preference for physical touch does not create a claim on someone else’s body. For Christian singles who are dating, affection also needs to honor biblical sexual ethics and the conviction that sexual intimacy belongs within marriage. Honest conversations about boundaries belong alongside conversations about affection. You can acknowledge a desire for closeness while making choices that honor Christ and the dignity of another person. How to discover your love language while single You can explore your love language without being in a dating relationship. Begin by remembering occasions when a friend or family member helped you feel understood and cared for. Consider what happened and why it mattered. Then ask whether you tend to express care in the same way or whether your habits of giving differ from what you appreciate receiving. If you want a guided starting point, use the official love language quiz . Treat the result as a prompt for reflection and conversation. It cannot tell you everything about your needs, and it should not become a test that everyone around you must pass. Continue learning through honest relationships, especially when your circumstances change. It also helps to describe what would be useful in a particular moment. You might explain that you would appreciate someone listening before offering advice, or that a ride would help more than another encouraging message that day. Ask the other person what would serve them as well. Mutual understanding grows when both people have room to speak and neither is expected to read the other’s mind. Be a friend worth having this week At Table for One Ministries, we encourage people to be a friend worth having . That begins with noticing the people God has placed in our lives and taking responsibility for how we treat them. Love languages can help us consider a practical response, but Christian friendship also requires honesty, patience, forgiveness, and faithfulness over time. First Corinthians 13:4–7 gives us a picture of love that reaches into our character and conduct. Choose one person this week and ask what would help them feel supported. Listen carefully enough to discover whether they need encouragement, time, practical assistance, or something you had not considered. Offer a response you can actually follow through on, and leave room for them to receive it freely. If you need care yourself, consider one trusted person with whom you can speak honestly. Church leaders can practice this same attentiveness by inviting single adults into ordinary life and listening to their perspectives. Include them in meals, meaningful responsibilities, and conversations about the church’s future. Notice their gifts and ask about their lives without making marital status the center of every conversation. A congregation grows in love when its members know one another well enough to care with understanding. 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